Your alter ego !!

Phew! I finally managed to get down and put forth my thoughts. I have realized something off late I am not motivated enough to write, something which I loved doing at one point of time. This is very sad indeed, as putting forth words to express myself is something I need to do as that’s where I locate my comfort zone and I’d have to admit that I am pretty uncomfortable off late.

Yeah so what’s it this time that I want to share, I ask this to myself and then a completely contradictory statement stems up, Do I actually want to share it or I can live with it and possibly push it to the darkest corner of my head, you’re running away and avoiding stuff a part of me says that. Okay, hang on I have thought about issues and what it could take from my end to reform it and if it doesn’t work out that ways I step aside and start things afresh. The point being my stepping aside won’t help me eventually, one truth I’ve realized is that after a point of time there will be a relapse of situations, statements and emotions. I need a kind of a new freedom that stems from someone making the effort to come and step inside and am a part of this world that I have created for myself after a lot of changes in it in the construction phase. I don’t find a craving anymore in me to go out there and make an effort to make things happen. I wonder what happened to the insanity and the passion that once thrived in me. I am taking a chill for things working out; those who’d make their effort are most welcome to be a part of this world, my world where I am me, in my purest form of mind and emotion. I ask myself at times am I ready enough to be there all for myself and forget people whose lives are deeply entwined with mine, I hear my selfish alter ego whispering, sure you are as long as you know they will there standing in the corner where you’d be leaving them, waiting for you hoping against all odds that you will be back for them someday. Then another side goes on to say sweetheart you know you can’t live with the guilt of hurting an innocent soul, so stop and be there. Okay so it’s decided I can play fair, I take some I give some. That ways I don’t live with any regrets ever.

So what am I doing next? Guess I’d just be gallivanting to the nearby store and drop in for a read and get myself a nice cuppa coffee, cheers to a totally unplanned life! 🙂

 

The Summer Fish Returns !!

Things are ready to hit the right place…watch out for this space, let this shadow be your guide, if you’re planning to catch this thought, Let me tell you I have never been able to catch mine and I guess that’s what makes my life awesome and me unique in my own eyes….I am the Summer fish and you’re the trout…

I’ve never felt so free in life and ready to take things I reckon from my perspective in one go….I am prepared now….If you have a perspective to share you’re most welcome, if you want to be judgmental you’re on the wrong page sweetheart….

I love playing with alphabets and words, cause I express my world best that ways…..Want me to express further? Well…. wait and Watch out…..I promise you I won’t disappoint…..

The Summer Fish Returns and she’s gonna love you like never before….. 😀

Wannabe !!

When u act carefree and break ur heel

Tremble while walking, still love how u feel

And then u say something as silly as u could

Look surprised at his laugh but u always knew he would

U shy off, fumble and look like a complete flop

He comes close, smiles and ur heart will pop

Then u look away and blush

Joey chuckles and u hush

 

When he is leaving, u suddenly remember

A business friend told u to get his number

U act all generous and give him urs too

Suddenly hold his hand n compliment his tattoo

 

He says Miley inspired it, but walked out of his life

U look all concerned, but wonder was she his wife

He sits down and tells u the story

U say ‘I understand’, no need to worry

 

He tells u, u r sweet

How sweet, anonymously u tweet

But that’s not enough, u have to tell it to ur girl gang

They had their stories and urs come in as a bang

U tell everyone, Oh it all happened by chance!

But actually u were dying for his one glance!

 

It’s nothing but attention u want my friend!

Ur thoughts and desires had a perfect blend!

But what are u trying to do?

U know u aren’t being true!

Who are u trying to be?

All this is just too wannabe!

What is all this for?

Is it what u want, u sure?

 

C’mon accept it, it’s not reality

U are acting every second without any clarity

U need to sit down and look into the mirror

face urself and realize it if u are clever

U will shiver and quiver and feel a chill

Let’s see how u tackle it and fight ur will

 

When u r finally embarrassed enough

I will tell u, what was the bluff

My love, It’s all in ur head

Think about it tonight on ur bed

 

What u want and what u make

What u get and what u take

All that u do or u don’t do

Is all waste if it makes u blue

Right or wrong, true or false

Does it really matter? Oh ballz!

 

U work, u earn, u care, u dare

U eat, u drink, u fight, u fare

Happiness is the word

U flutter like a bird

All u do is to get that joy

The ways u use are a lil coy

Life is in this moment, do what u want

If wrong makes u happy, right will only haunt

 

Let ur thoughts not be shabby

Coz u know what!

It’s okay to be ‘a wannabe happy’!

A Knock on the Dentist’s Door!!

Not all experiences in life are pleasant- this was the muffler of assurance I wore on that morning when a pain in my nascent wisdom tooth called for a visit to the dentist.

My dentist puffed me a little as to what a brave girl I was and smiled to say that he had hands of a prestidigator. Don’t worry, he’s not a tyro, I told myself.

He injected me with an anesthesia which made my head gyrate to the tune of “twinkle, twinkle little star.” Then he performed some silly antics with his hopefully sterilized instruments and got into a conversation with my brother who had accompanied me. I could see a queer smile in my brother’s eyes. Queer because it emanated from the joy of discovery that I would shut my mouth for a couple of hours.

The doctor then forwarded us to a compounder who was found to be in gross dereliction of his duties watching India- Sril lanka ODI. Expediently, I disturbed him by presenting the doctor’s prescription to which he reacted as if I had impinged on his right to cricket and entertainment. “is he crazy or is he really crazy”, so I thought.

Anyhow, he told me about one good I- ice cream and three bad P’s – porridge, pain and pain. I believe my wisdom tooth has brought me more pain than wisdom. A pain in the gum!!! which I’ll not forget till amnesia strikes me and I hope it soon does!!!

Cheers !! Soni 🙂

For today…and always…

Today let me see you one more time……who knows this might be the last……

Today let me listen to you one more time……and make me feel fresh as the morning dew….

Today let me do this one more deed that i always wanted to do…… but kept procrastinating…

Today let me take in this fragrance of yours…..like a breath for dear life……

Today let me see you smile like never before……..the one that makes me feel like childhood days…..

Today let me walk one last time on those lanes…..where my footprints will be remembered by those who trudge that lane after me……..

Today let me share this silence one last time with you…….it told me the things i’d always wanted to hear…..
Today let me dance one last time with you…….and feel alive like never before……

Today let me read your eyes one last time……the volumes it has to say with that one look of yours…..

Today let me watch the sun rise and set and feel mother nature like never before….

Today let me say goodbye…….only to know that we’l never part…..

Today let me try getting enough of all this and i know the feeling will be unparalled to Any….Ever……..